Right Winger

Friends have told me consistently that they they think I am sort of a "right winger", which I find fairly amazing and irritating. To be fair I would probably be similarly irritated if I were called a "left winger" - but in any case I was thinking this morning at all of my views that must lead to this conclusion...

anti-imperialism taking a heavy-handed approach and imposing on other countries, whether through economic hit-man style financial impositions or bombing is wrong.

anti-corporatocracy yes, our government is in the pocket of large corporations. yes, this is bad for individuals.

atheist most right wingers are atheist right?

firearms for the masses is dangerous although I fully support our right to keep arms, I think packing a gat at the Costco is very dangerous - kinda like swimming pools and motorcycles.

civil liberties as it turns out, I think all people - yup all types (even Scientologists, racists, and gingers) - have the same right to life, liberty, and property.

anti-captial punishment Penn and Teller firmed me up on this one, but people do bad things for financial gain, compulsion, or stupidity - the death penalty is not much of a deterrent in any of these cases - it's mostly just to make people feel better. Killing is bad.

pro-choice killing is bad, and killing babies is bad, but at the end of the day I support a woman's right to choose

So you can see where people would call me a right winger right? Actually, if you can maybe you can explain it to me. I think it comes down to this - if you believe in rationality, free trade, and fundamentally reject the idea that wealth redistribution (whether through corporate favors or high taxes on the most productive members of our society) - then you are "right wing". Am I right?

Stretch 'til it Hurts

Television consumers want bigger, brighter, and higher resolution displays. We look down upon a measly 1080i - yet at the same time I see more tolerance of completely fuct aspect ratios. Sure, is fun to laugh at screwed up proportions when looking at a fun house mirror, but now we just cannot escape it. In sports bars, building lobbies, and in our own homes we are increasingly tolerant of 4x3 aspect ratio pictures being stretched to 16x9. It drives me batty and gives me a headache. Why is it okay for a square to be a rectangle? Why is that fat lady on the tv the same width and height?

Today I came across the perfect illustration of this sad sad stretched world in which we live. The main video page for CNN has EVERY VIDEO STRETCHED. It is a tiny box in my browser, not constrained by the physical dimensions of a real television or a wife that says "what are those black bars on the side... fix it". Yet this huge media company thinks that this is okay. Until Joe public starts demanding non fun house video we have more whack stuff like this to look forward to. Shame on everyone. Stop stretching and squeezing.

Comic Sans

For years I have loathed comic sans, but until recently I felt relatively alone. A tear rolls down my cheek as I realize there are others like me - that also become instantly enraged at this font that seems to spread through documents faster than SARS through Korea.

I give you the ban comic sans web page. Enjoy.

Sorry Kid

As I rounded out my quarter-century on this earth (the year you can rent a car without an underage fee) I thought I had reached the last landmark year until I became a senior citizen. For better or worse, I was mistaken.

This product over here --> is household goop. I've been a user and promoter of this product for a long time. As far as I can tell, all varieties of "goop", whether it be household or plumbing flavor are exactly the same. My familiarity however goes back to when it was called "Shoe Goo" and sold at your local Foot Locker or Athletes Foot right next to the shoe shine kit. As a skateboarder this product continues to provide an affordable alternative to bi-weekly shoe purchases.

This weekend Stacey and I were at our local Target and I picked up some goop. As the cashier scanned my sole (no pun intended) item she told me that she would need to see my ID. I opened my wallet and started to... hey, wait a minute. Why would she need to see my ID for a cash purchase of friggin Shoe Goo! She explained to me that she could not sell it to me unless she saw my ID and then pointed to the screen. Apparently I need to be 40 years old to purchase this item. She asked a fellow cashier who told her to push the function button to get past that screen - but she was having none of that - and I was having none of this ID showing. Problem solved of course when the manager came over and pressed the function key.

There are a couple interesting points to be made here. I suppose that this was flagged for its potential use as an inhalant - I get that. Here's the thing though, I think this tube cost almost $4. I could buy two gallons of gas - three cans of whipped cream - probably a box-load of model glue for my $4. Why would an honest hard-working inhalant junkie such as myself choose to purchase Shoe Goo to support my habit. It makes no sense. I saw that movie Love Liza with Philip Seymour Hoffman. Some folks just dig on the sniffin' - but I'm not quite sure targeting 18-40 year old Goop purchasers really is going to solve this serious epidemic.

Signature required on delivery (in person)

Do you ever get home and see that post-it note on your door when you're expecting a fun or important delivery? Post-its are nice, but I really prefer packages. Then after reading carefully your heart drops when you see that the sender included a signature requirement.

I have some serious frustration issues with packages that are sent via UPS or FedEx with a signature requirement for residential deliveries. Today I got just such a post-it for a UPS overnight delivery. They were willing to pay the big bucks to ensure that it got there the next day... at 10:30 AM... at my house. Wait - a better way to say it is that they paid to guarantee that the package would get there the next day with a virtual guarantee (10:30AM M-F ... don't other people work at that time) that I would not be there to get the package, with a guarantee that I actually got it (signature), if I happened to get it. I suppose my frustration should be with the sender - but why is there customer demand for this service.

I called UPS at 7:30 to change the delivery address to my workplace. Because it was after the 7:00 closing time the address change would not go through until Friday (since Thursday is a holiday). Well nobody is going to be at my office on Friday to pick up the package because it's the Friday after Thanksgiving. Since UPS doesn't deliver on Saturday or Sunday my overnight package will have reached me in six short days.

I remember when I ordered my iBook a couple years ago Apple put this same requirement on the package. Shocker I was not there between the hours of 10:30AM and 2:00PM with a smile on my face and pen in hand. I called UPS and there were further instructions on the package that the destination could not be changed and it could not be picked up at the UPS office. So it needed to go through several delivery attempts, then three days back to Cupertino. After calling Apple they would not ship it to my work because that address was not the billing address of my credit card, so I had to call my credit card to get that address added, then call Apple back to schedule delivery.

Perhaps I sit up on a pedestal in my white-collar world, but don't most people work 9-6 type hours like I do? You'd think Apple and UPS would be spinning their wheels constantly because of this issue - but I am made to feel like I am unreasonable by working 9-6 and by not taking a day off of work to accept a delivery. I mean, wouldn't it serve residential customers of UPS, FedEx, and retailers better by choosing different hours?

UPDATE - UPS broke their rules and called me back at around 8:15 with someone who promised to get my delivery redirected to my work for tomorrow.

Favorite Key

A mac keyboard is funny. It has F14, F15, and F16 keys... that is unless you're on a notebook computer in which case they've admitted that those keys are useless. On the flip side - the keyboard contains home and end keys, which for some godawful reason just plain don't work (unless you're using a Microsoft product). My suggestion - get rid of the F14, F15, and F16 keys and actually make home and end work.

A typical PC keybard is not without its gems. The red-headed step-children of the keyboard are in exile in the upper right hand - SysRq, Scroll Lock, and Pause. Then you've got the Num Lock - couldn't we have gotten rid of this once all keyboards had arrow keys built-in. Does anyone ever NOT want num lock on? I like how it's so strange to have num-lock on, that it warrants a little LED light to tell you that its on - just like caps lock. My suggestion, get rid of the arrows on the number keys and subsequently number lock - then turn the step-children keys into ctrl-alt-delete to make life easier on Windows.

Statistics

Blogs are used to vent, so here are some statistics that enrage me. Through this honest expose' I hope to squash the fire within.

No RSVP Sent: 36.9%
RSVP Sent: 63.1%
Coerced Response: 14.3%
Unknown: 23.8%

Now, these were self-addressed stamped envelopes. All people needed to do is write a number and drop the thing in the mail. They were given a month to perform this onerous task. For those who are technologically savvy (or suffer from USPSphobia) we provided an email address people could use (special shout-out to the one person who used it - you know who you are).

With these percentages you may be asking yourself if we just invited random people out of the phone book. Believe it or not, we actually know these people. I am not sure what to make of all this.

While I was trying to coerce a response, one person declared that according to the etiquette books he read (you know who you are), you are to only send an RSVP if you will be attending. I did a quick search on Amazon for etiquette books and kids, there are some good ones out there. The first hit is a book by Emily Post, a well-known authority on the subject. I wonder what she has to say about the subject:

From the French, it means “Répondez, s’il vous plaît,” or, “Please reply.” This little code has been around for a long time and it’s definitely telling you that your hosts want to know if you are attending. Reply promptly, within a day or two of receiving an invitation.

How about the second hit, Etiquette for Dummies? Surely an etiquette book connoisseur like this wouldn't miss that treasure trove of excitement. Well that book says (in a special TIP section):

RSVP means respond either way, yes or no. Regrets only means the guest should contact the host only if not attending.

Maybe he (along with 36.9% of you) read the slightly less popular Etiquette for Smarties.

March Resolutions

I bitch alot about corporate dishonesty. From Sony with their evil root-kit fiasco to Cingular with their rebates - I really would like these companies to straighten up. So rather than bitching, I thought I'd start with what I can control, myself. I will not purchase any Sony products because they've been evil bastards lately. I will not buy any CDs produced or promoted by a major RIAA member label. I will not buy a product with a mail-in rebate because the company wants to make me spend more in effort to get the rebate than it costs them to pay it.

Backslash

And now it is time for your ASCII lesson of the day.

This, /, is a slash. You may recognize this character from our friend http://, pronounced aych tee tee pee colon slash slash. When in doubt, its a slash.

This, \, is a backslash. You'll know it from nothing other than archaic microsoft command-line stuff. You'll never use it unless you are a programmer or love the impotent Windows command-line interface.

Just Say No!

I'd like to speak candidly to you all about an abhorent social phenomenon spreading through Northern Virginia. Each year more people wrecklessly follow this trend, flagrantly disregarding pragmatism. These new adopters will spread this horrible habit on to younger unsuspecting victims. Yes, I'm talking about wiperuperitis.

Three or four years ago Northern Virginia drivers, under the guise of protecting their windshield wipers, during the winter began lifting their windshield wipers to the skies after parking. At this point I have yet to hear a "oh my god, did you hear what happened to Jimmy's windshield wipers" story, but the buzz on the streets is that this is to save people from the inconvenience of scraping around the wipers should we get a large amount of freezing rain. I have not seen this trend in areas more accustomed to harsh winter conditions (NY, Michigan). Perhaps the drivers of Northern Virginia are simply that much smarter. Perhaps not.

Here is a hypothetical situation: Lets say last night our area were coated with an inch of freezing rain. I did not put my wipers up, but the guy in the parking space next to me did. Would there be an "I told you so" look from the guy next to me? Would he be able to scrape that inch of ice off his car much more quickly than I? Are raised wipers somehow immune to ice accumulation? Would I become so enraged with my inability to free my wipers from the windshield that I would regretfully destroy them trying? I'm thinking no.

Thoughts?

Bits and Bytes

Lesson of the day

People I talk to quite frequently use the words "bit" and "byte" interchangably. So many people in fact that I feel like it's time for a simple lesson.

A byte is made up of eight bits. A bit is one-eighth of a byte. A megabyte is eight times larger than a megabit. A gigabyte is eight times larger than a gigabit. See the pattern?

A T1 is 1.544 megaBITS per second. Your cable modem at home has a downstream of around 3 megaBITS per second. Your hard drive in your home computer is 60 gigaBYTES.

When you downloaded the latest .NET framework from Microsoft, you didn't get a download speed of 20K... K is not a speed; kilobytes per second is a speed. Using K as a unit of speed is like if someone asked me how tall I am, and I responded 20K - I'm sure I'm 20K something tall, but it's useless information.

This just in, an inch is different than a foot.

(Insert Wireless Carrier) Sucks!

Although the blogosphere is bursting with dissenting opinions about just about everything, there seems to be a particular hatred for mobile phone providers. Cingular, T-Mobile, Verizon, and Sprint all have their advantages and quirks, but for the most part the decision comes down to who do you hate the least.

I have a particularly strong bond with my hard-earned dollars and don't separate myself from them easily. Combine this with an affinity for shiny new fancypants phones, dislike of talking on the phone, and disdain for long contracts and it's not too hard to figure out why I'm on T-Mobile.

The problem of course with T-Mobile is that I'd probably get better coverage with a couple tin cans and a really long string. Since I have no contract at this point, on and off for the past year I've been searching for a new provider that could allow me to make and receive calls. Painfully I decided that with a $150 rebate from Amazon, Cingular would be the way to go. I'd get a new Motorola Razr V3 to play with and I'd only be paying around $10 more each month for a network that actually works (or so I hear).

Unfortunately when my phone arrived and I read the documentation on number portability I found that porting a number to Cingular would make me ineligible for the mail-in rebate from Amazon, meaning I'd have to pay $150 and sign up for a 2-year contract at $10 more each month just to be able to have a wireless network that functions. It was tough to do, but after fruitlessly pleading with the Cingular sales folks to give me a deal in order to keep my business, I decided that the phone would go back.

Damnit T-Mobile - you suck major ass, but you suck ass less for me than others. Sure, you have no network time sync... and sure I get notified about voicemail about 4 days after I get one... but you save me money at least and I have no contract.

Microsoft Word

Mostly I use Microsoft Word to view documents created by others. Why on earth does it always tell me that I have made chages and asks me if I would like to save them. Microsoft should change the message to avoid frustration. Here is my suggestion:

Hi, you have opened a Microsoft Word Document. We're going to ask you to save your work alot since people get pissed and dislike our product if we don't. We will even ask you to save your work when you've changed nothing, mainly because we hate you Ryan

Windows Users LOVE 1024x768

It's true, in a blind taste test, more Windows users prefer 1024x768 over 1280x1024 (aka "why is it so small"), 800x600 (aka "something is weird"), or 1600x1200 (aka "man, are your eyes really that good?").

We just got these really nice 19" TFT LCD flat panel displays here at work. LCDs have one set resolution, that means that there ARE a certain number of pixels on the screen. This means that a display has a native resolution... in other words, it only has ONE resolution. In our case, that resolution is 1280x1024 (the number of horizontal pixels by the number of vertical pixels). Every other person in my group has their display set at 1024x768.

Imagine the side of a rubics cube. You could have one out of the 9 squares red. If I asked you to increase the size of that red square by 9, it would be easy, just make all 9 squares red. But what happens if I say make the red square 5 times bigger? You'd have to figure out the area of a square 5 times the size, get out your scissors, pick off the existing stickers, cut up a new 5x sticker, and put it on there, and that would screw up the other sections around it, what a nightmare. That nightmare is what the 1024x768 people are doing on their new display. It looks like garbage... all blurry and goofy. Yuk.

People like what they like I suppose. I think the problem should be solved inside windows. Based on the auto detection of the monitor, the DPI at the current resolution could be guessed, and the current profile could have a fixed physical size for the font. That way it wouldn't matter what resolution you were at - you wouldn't have the "how can you read that" problem. Oh well, nobody likes my ideas - I'll go back to not rocking the boat now.

Cleaning Staff

Am I the only one who thinks it is fairly insulting to label your trash with "BASURA" written in large print? Could it be someone's profession to clean up trash in an office building, but they simply don't understand the word "TRASH"? Why do we assume that not only can they not speak English, but they speak Spanish and they cannot understand the most job-critical English word, trash? Maybe we should assume that they cannot read and we start using a trash icon; would that be reasonable?