Zero Sum Game… shouldn’t that be zero difference game? I mean, I understand that if there is a simple situation where you and I both have a dollar, and I take the dollar away from you and now I have two, that I gained 1, plus your negative 1, equals zero… but seriously. I think 1 – 1 = 0 is much easier to understand than 1 + (-1) = 0.

Accountants follow the same line of thinking with assets = liability + owner’s equity. That just seems designed to be confusing. If you just shook it around a little bit and said owners equity = assets – liabilities. I think that’s much easier to understand. What you’ve really got (equity) is the value of all your shit (assets) less what you owe (liability)… that’s just common sense.

your call will be answered in the order received.

rather than the omnipresent word diarrhea version

your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.

props.

Long gone are the days of the custom ice cream truck, stark white and covered with stickers. As I have seen recently, there is a new generation of ghetto ice cream men, armed with an old van, a bike rack, and a refrigeration compressor. As I walked out my front door last weekend there it was, uncle Rico’s van right in front of our place – speckled with a rocket pop and chipburrger sticker or three. The refrigeration unit was strapped to the back, showing complete disregard for any pride. Rather than the subtle bell of yesteryear that acted like a dog whistle for kids – now there is an obscene loud speaker chiming out child friendly tunes followed by a child’s voice laughing and shouting out “hello”.

Uncle Rico has gone too far with his latest business idea I think.

In 2005 my new year’s resolution was to write no checks for the entire year. I did it and was somewhat pleased with myself – mostly because of my wholesale hatred of checks and the absurdness of the resolution. Continuing on the trend of somewhat difficult and completely absurd resolutions I’ve decided to swear off fries for 2007. Unfortunately this time I do not have a hatred of fries. I actually like them quite a bit, especially the Burger King fries because you can eat them without gagging when they get cold. Wow, that picture of fries looks really good. Anyway, I think I can do it. Oh, that includes waffle or steak fries – but not onion rings.

To up the ante a bit, and to keep the fries from being lonely, I am going to swear off soda for the year. That’s right, no pop. One slight modification to that however is that if I somehow have a mixed adult beverage with soda in it, like a long island iced tea or a seven and seven that would be okay. I’m making up the resolution so I can put in loopholes ahead of time.